Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just had sex on a roof
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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