she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize