WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
