Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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