You don't have asthma, your pregnant
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
