SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Your penis caused this!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
