remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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