I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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