I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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