Where is the hickey?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
