im having a threesome with these popsicles
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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