my mouth tastes like poor choices
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
