Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
