His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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