Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
