Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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