Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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