physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
