I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
