I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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