Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
