margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
