I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
