I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
