i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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