and she was petting her beer can
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
