the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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