know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
