Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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