I'm drive I can fine osifer
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
