take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
