im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
