id be glad to
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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