Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
