the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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