no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
