I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
