I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
