I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
