Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
