you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
