Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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