I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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