it was like his penis was on wheels.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
