Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there was a trapeze. enough said
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Everclear isn't food dammit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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