this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
