Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
