i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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