Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
