Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
