Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
