If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize