Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just high enough for therapy.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
