Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize