I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
