There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize